It's funny how people look at your life and expect you to be happy, I mean you have it all figured out right. You have a well-paying job- two for that matter, especially in this current economy; you are married and have a life going on.
But you alone understand that nothing in all of this makes so much sense now. you are constantly questioning your existence and what drives your happiness. You are in a world of uncertainties and feeling lost in the process of navigating through the waters. You are doing everything to keep your head afloat, but the forces of the waters keep drawing you in. You are no longer functioning from a place of passion and drive, you are functioning from a place of responsibility.
You are overwhelmed with the feeling of not becoming a disappointment to the people around you, yet you feel you are failing yourself. The burden to keep going for everyone else except yourself is drowning you. The burden of not being able to proceed draws you in, and you are fighting it with all you have.
Now the strength and zeal are gone. Nothing seems to be going your way and neither can you just quit because a lot hinges on it. You can't seem to ask yourself what you would do to make it better because doing what you want means you fail everyone else.
Do you live for yourself or do you live for others? is there a way to strike a balance? can you find happiness in the depth of the waters that is quite overwhelming? how are you to make progress despite it all and grow regardless. How are you to make waves and grow when you can't seem to find a headway to progress.
I want to scream if only it would make it better, but then no one would hear me. I could cry a million buckets full, but then tears won't make the worries go away or make it feel better. I guess I would carry on the unhappiness and wear the mask of comfort till I can change the situation.
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