I'm not sure if you've had the chance to watch the movie "Sista," but if you haven't, I strongly recommend that you do. It's been the talk of the town lately, with everyone praising Sista for her incredible strength. There's no denying her admirable qualities, but today, I want to shift our focus to Tiwatope, played by Bisola Aiyeola, who is the wife of Fola. Although her role might not be as recognized, there are valuable lessons for women in her character that deserve our attention.
Tiwa portrayed a woman who exuded remarkable self-assurance. She wasn't rattled by the revelation of her husband's previous family, nor did she hesitate to embrace them as part of her own. Honestly, I can't help but admire what she went through, which wasn't an easy journey, even for the strongest of women. How comfortable would you feel knowing that your husband had two children prior to your marriage, and all you knew about him turned out to be a lie? Nevertheless, Tiwa demonstrated remarkable security and a willingness to support Sista and her children without a trace of jealousy.
It's undeniable that, as women, we must cultivate a sense of security within ourselves to withstand the pressures that life may throw our way. Today, we'll discuss how we can empower ourselves to be secure.
1. Financial Security: Let's face it; money plays a crucial role in ensuring security. Having the financial means to live life on your terms provides a sense of stability that's hard to shake. As women, we should have our own financial independence (I know some may disagree), but it's essential to have a source of income or financial security. When you know you have some financial stability, you're less likely to be easily shaken. Many people find themselves trapped in unfavourable situations simply because they lack financial options.
2. Mental Security: How strong is your mental fortitude as a woman? Have you invested in personal development to stand tall in any situation? How well-informed and exposed are you? What have you learned in the last six months? Is your knowledge the same as when your husband first met you, or have you continued to grow? Your ability to guarantee your security hinges on recognizing that your presence holds a value that can't be measured by any price tag. Intimate knowledge of your partner and living with them 24/7 gives you a unique advantage in understanding their needs. If you're not adding value in that regard, your position may indeed be vulnerable.
3. Emotional Security: You can't give what you don't have. You must love yourself sufficiently before extending love to others. Many women find themselves in situations where they crave love, pouring themselves into others. How much do you love yourself? Do you love yourself enough to recognize conditions worth walking away from? Do you view yourself as enough and stand firmly in that truth? Or do you rely on the drips of love and attention that come your way? As women, we're often expected to be a wellspring of love for everyone – parents, siblings, husband, children, and extended family. Everyone wants a piece of our maternal love, often without considering the state of our emotional reserves. You need an abundance of self-love because people will draw from you without regard for your emotional well-being. Establishing boundaries is crucial, so when those boundaries are crossed, you can address the situation effectively. A man feels secure around a woman who knows her limits and when to assert them. Tiwa was able to love Fola's children because she loved herself and Fola enough to embrace everything about him.
4. Marital Security: Did you marry because it was expected by family, or did you choose marriage based on your personal desires? Was your path to marriage a well-considered choice, or did you succumb to peer pressure? If you entered into marriage under pressure, you're likely to crumble when faced with challenging circumstances. As women, we shouldn't rush into marriage simply because it seems like the next logical step. Get married because it's what you genuinely want, and choose a partner who truly deserves you. Tiwa understood that leaving her marriage would also hurt her husband and that she had chosen this path, ready to stand by him no matter what challenges they encountered.
As women, we must cultivate a sense of security within ourselves to add value to our lives and the lives of those around us. Be confident in who you are and what you possess, and don't let anything hinder your pursuit of your goals. Always remember that you can't pour from an empty cup; prioritize self-care.
xoxo
Mrs. A
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